(if you don’t like swear words, do not read)
I recently purchased the book “The subtle art of not giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. This is not intended to be a book review, but damn… I can’t help it!
I’m a knowledge whore, a book slut and I find myself reading about 5 books at a time ALL THE TIME and always wonder “will I ever make it through each book”. DAMN! Reading one a time can’t be THAT difficult! They are always science and training based. I do not read novels. I want to learn when I read and I have a very hard time sinking into any type of self help book. Life isn’t and cannot be THAT perfect when it comes to the information a self help book shares. Plus, reading them made me feel like a bag of shit. Like, if I couldn’t change my way of thinking then I was an idiot. There was something wrong with me. I would be a failure because I wasn’t writing down 3 things a day I was thankful for. I couldn’t talk about how amazing I was or how I appreciated every inch of Me. I wasn’t pooping out unicorns and rainbows!
Then I finally decided “fuck it”. I’m gonna buy “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”
I realize that life is going to suck a lot mixed in with some laughs. I guess I was curious and since I say f*uck a lot I figured “why the fuck not” right? It would just be another book added to my collection.
I am currently deep into the mindset of “I cannot worry about that person or that circumstance”. If the person or situation makes me feel like a bag of shit than GOODBYE! I have enough negative feelings and thoughts after my husband died and grief is a complete mindfuck that the LAST thing I am allowing myself to do is be involved with people or situations that encourage feelings of “feeling like a bag of shit”. It is time to find things that make me laugh, experiences that bring out positive feelings that could cover the negative feelings, even for a little bit. I just want to fucking laugh!
I got only a few pages in and I realized “I’m gonna love this fucking book”. It was speaking my language! 11 pages into the book a sentence came up stating “suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance”.
Suffering…fears….anxieties…. check…check…check. Keep reading!
On page 4 it reads “…this fixation on the positive—on what’s better, what’s superior—only serves to remind us over and over again of what we are not, of what we lack, of what we should have been but failed to be”.
Ya, screw you positive attitude! Stop messing with my mind and telling me I should be perfect and my life is amazing and I should be so thankful for what I have. What the fuck is wrong with me thinking that the glass is half empty. I have a very limited amount of fucks to give, just as the book states. Why the hell should I waste those fucks on stupid shit? The stupid shit that makes me feel bad or worse than I already do? Those people that make me feel like a loaded bag of poo poo or make me dive deep into my insecurities? “If you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get fucked”.
Life is SO SHORT! We all have to realize that the fucks you give may be a complete waste of time.
“…the people who hand out fucks like ice cream at a goddamn summer camp is that they don’t have anything more fuck-worthy to dedicate their fucks to. What does this mean? Trivial shit. Its trivial shit you are handing out your fucks to. (Dead TV remote batteries, stuck in traffic, someone disagreeing with your belief) You may not have anything important to worry about.
IS IT REALLY THAT IMPORTANT?
Find something meaningful or your fucks will be “given to meaningless and frivolous causes”.
The book states it’s about “helping you think a little bit more clearly about what you’re choosing to find important in life and what you’re choosing to find unimportant.”
The book continues to push you into avenues where you: Turn your pain into a tool. Turn trauma into power and your problems into slightly better problems.
A guide to suffering and how to do it better. To lose and let go!
When you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems you get a better life. So from someone who hates self help books and thinks they do nothing but make you feel totally inadequate, I must say this was an enjoyable and easy book to read.
I am the glass is half empty person but I feel that is the best way to move through life. I do not expect everything to be perfect. I do not expect things to go my way and life can be difficult. I am not setting myself up for disappointment; I’m improving my armor for survival!
I know there is always room for improvement. I will always want to be better and improve in things I do, to learn more, to search for higher accomplishments. I will fail and keep failing but I will figure out a way to start again and figure shit out. For me, it’s just super easy now to say “fuck it” without the guilt angel sitting on my shoulder. She can fuck right off!
For some, this attitude may seem rude or selfish but that is simply because they don’t understand my fucks. I find it freeing and a huge sense of relief when you don’t spend your day worrying about what others think or trying to keep up to everyone else around you.
I call it SURVIVAL!
Follow your own footsteps. Lead your own path. The people that truly understand will be right along side you laughing all the way.