The one about the throat punch

You know… learning is the bread and butter of life. As the saying goes “the more you know, the more you know there is to know”.

Two amazing men I am lucky to call friends go to great lengths hosting the Okanagan strength & conditioning conference each year. Greg Dumanoir and Christopher Martin Collins, thank you for your hard work and dedication to our industry.  This year I spent an eye opening session with Sol Orwell.  If you don’t know much about him, search him up… just do it.

It was geared toward business and marketing but for me it was a throat punch moment from Sol that woke me up and made me think about where the hell my life is headed.

throat punch keep calm

One of his questions was “Who the hell are you?” and he followed that up with “and who are you to someone else?”   (Well Sol, I’m the stunned blonde sitting at the table about to cry…seriously, it was a bad morning)

Ummm….I have no fucking clue! (Yup, exact thoughts)

I couldn’t think of one word that described me. I couldn’t think of anything that described my personality or what I thought others saw of me.  (Ok, maybe NOW the words loud, bossy and squirrelly come to mind but 20/20 hindsight)  It was a light bulb moment for me because it made me realize that I need to get my shit together and I need to figure out the direction my future is going after my husband died.

A question so simple: “Who the hell are you?”  And I couldn’t answer it.  That was the first time since my husband died that I had an “ah huh” moment.  Finding the answer wasn’t the focus for me, it was realizing that I COULDN’T answer it.  It was realizing that I wasn’t in a good place mentally.

All I could see in myself was “something” taking up space. There was no value to “me”.  I was just doing my best to make it through each day.

Not a good space to be in.

So if I asked you “who the hell are you and how do YOU think people see you”. Could you answer that question?

What motivates you? The passion, the dedication, the focus of your goals, can you honestly say you are doing what needs to be done to make steps in achieving your goals?

One word came to my mind when I thought about how I wanted people to think of me.


That was it! I couldn’t come up with anything else.

I’m just a bucket of “ffff” right now. There is no part of “un” popping out of me but Sol Orwell made me realize that the “un” was missing and what I thought was the “un” was no way NEAR the real “un” that I wanted.

It was listening to Sol that made me think about my future in a positive way.  The passion I had for my career had slightly popped back and showed its face.  I knew I wanted to reach people in a light hearted, fun way and I loved to write.  I want to educate but in a way that is silly and strikes the cord of the average person.  There are too many smart people out there that educate the masses on strength & conditioning.  I want to be that person who educates the masses on the shitshow, amazeballs, hilarious, fun, thought provoking madness mixed in with a bit of strength & conditioning.  It does exist!  I want to be smart but stupid-sexy amazeballs funny. (I’m stretching it with sexy, aren’t I?)

That was when I sat down and started writing and it seemed effortless.

Would I be able to write something that made people think? Could I write something that made people laugh?  Could I write something that made people say “wtf, ok I’m going to do that”.

Could I throat punch a shitload of people without actually punching them?

So I guess for you reading this, my question is what is stopping you? Do you want to be stronger?  Do you want to run a ½ marathon?  Do you want to simply be healthier?  Do you want to start some crazy activity that challenges you to face your fears?

(No, I will not face my fear of heights…. The bus. Stops. There.)

But for you, why not just do it!

Why not?

Take this as your throat punch. Being who you want to be starts with YOU and you are the only one that can get you there.

I have lots to work on but I am grateful for the throat punch from Sol Orwell.

throat punch drawing


The one about Tights

I have never liked tights and I have never worn tights. I have always been a short or track pant girl and always felt that wearing tights was like being naked.  It just wasn’t me.  My husband would always ask why and the closest thing to tights he would see me in was my layer of riding shorts during mountain biking to help protect the v-jayjay.  Those are the farthest from sexy you can get but he absolutely loved them.  The poor guy never had a chance of seeing his wife in a pair of lulus.  It just wasn’t going to happen!

Then came along a life altering situation that made me think heavily about many things that I once thought were important and others that I used to dislike. It seemed a change was coming!

I bought my first pair of tights!

Not lulus and not a stupidly priced pair of comfy ass huggers but a cheap and surprisingly comfortable pair of tights from Target. I had that “why the fuck not” thought process.  Why had I never wore a pair even in my own home with my husband allowed to oogle my ass and stop wishing I would just buy a pair.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my ass isn’t anything to write home about but to him it was a prize and that is an important piece of the puzzle of marriage.

Previously, to me, his thought process was stupid and as if he would see me, his wife, in a pair of tights. I might as well just hang my ass out.  Isn’t that what wearing a pair of tights feels like?  Well, that was my thought process.

But then someone dies and you start to think. “Really?  WTF?”

He never had a chance to see me in a pair of tights!

When I think about it now, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Who gives a shit!

I wonder how many other people lose out on sharing something between the people they love because of silly feelings of inadequacies, or that it’s stupid or simply feeling “uncomfortable”.

Life is too short!

I now own four pair of tights.

Today I wore tights